Wednesday, January 26, 2011

You Get More with Honey than with Vinegar, and Other Lessons from the Bus

Ever errupt in giggles after you do something kind of silly and awkward, and then feel a tremendous need to admit just how awkward you were to anyone and everyone in a public forum?
Enter, having a blog.
So, last night I pretended to know someone on the bus (who thought they knew me)
because I was too afraid of hurting their feelings if I acknowledged that I did not, 
in fact, have any clue who they were.  
Or worse, see their cheeks blush pink with embarrassment
as they realized that they had waved down a complete stranger.
So instead, I thought the smartest thing to do would be to 'channel' this person they were mistaking me for.
I don't know how I get myself in these situations, but I do.
At one point, I tried to inch my way to the back of the bus
and remove myself from the conversation- I really did.
But, I must graciously thank you, Goddess of Awkward Scenarios,
you arranged for the woman sitting next to the girl on the bus
to get up right as I tried to pop my headphones back in and excuse myself.
Oh, the tangled web you weave!
So there I was, nodding along in conversations about my charming boyfriend,
(don't have one)
and swapping stories about our weekends in Tahoe,
(have yet to go)
giggling about the party a few weeks back,
(pretty sure my best friend was visiting and I most certainly, was not, at a party)
and trying to ask generic, yet slightly personal questions
that might lead me to a clue- an inkling- of who this girl was.
You just moved, right?
(Um, no...)
Sure, I felt uncomfortable... but, wait a tick! This is kind of like a conversational scavenger hunt!
What sentence would lead me to the next clue? What fun fact could I unearth next?
I was just settling into my new persona when it happened.
The realization swept over her face as if she'd seen a ghost.
 She quickly looked down and fidgeted with her phone.
The conversation ceased.
It got quiet.
Crickets, people. Crickets.
My face turned hot and I started racking my brain for something, anything, to talk about.
Why, why,why from the beginning did I not just dismiss her wave with a friendly, "Oh no, I think you have the wrong person?"
After what felt like hours, we approached her stop and as she excused herself to get up,
I hung onto my last piece of pride and squealed, "It was so good  to bump into you again!"
I'll admit it.
I kind of felt like a creep for going along with it.
But, I don't think I'd change my instincts.
I could've coldy stared past her.
But then she'd be wondering all night why the girl she thought she knew, was so icy and mean.
That'd be terrible, people!
So yes, I maintain that you always, always,
get more with honey
than with vinegar.
Even if it leaves you feeling a little batty.

1 comment:

  1. YOu have a vivid imagination. You used to make up new personas for yourself when you talked to someone next to you on an airplane.