Friday, October 25, 2013

So Long, October

How is it already the end of October? 
I swear, time ticks by faster on the west coast. 
It's been a mix of calm and chaos - without much of a middle ground. 
Some months are like that I suppose, 
but all I wanted for fall is for things to hold steady. 
Did you know that autumn represent wisdom and maturity? 
 I don't feel either of those things at all really. 
My feelings have been mixed up all month,
 making me feel a little confused and foolish.
photo is my own
I think it's tied to the notion of letting go.
Letting go of pain points at work. 
Letting go of circumstances that don't pan out as planned.
Letting go of the questions without answers...
That's hard for me. 
I'm no good with the act of releasing.
I cling to the things that I invest in,
and fiercely 'miss' the expectations that fall flat. 
I bless and let go and then er, I take it all back and try it again. 
You can't say I'm not persistent! 
But there comes a time when one has to step forward and move on. 
In November, I'll do better. 
Have a wonderful weekend my friends. 
Enjoy these last few days of October,
 both the calm and the chaotic. 


Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Chasing Sunsets

Last night, after I got home from work I had a lot on my mind. 
I could have easily sunk onto the couch 
but I needed fresh air and went out for a run.
Rather than run along the water, I decided to take the upper route through a neighborhood of big old rambling houses and sidewalks lined with trees with knotted branches and hot pink blooms.
The sky was starting to show signs of a beautiful sunset, 
and I wanted to chase it.
About halfway to the sky, I stopped to look out towards the bay and watch the clouds turn sorbet peach, pink and orange. 
A guy about my age was admiring the view too.
He was handsome. Settled in his stance. 
 He stepped towards me, explaining he had flown into San Francisco earlier that afternoon, 
but had to get to Humboldt County 
and was in need of directions to the train.
What he was doing – high above the city in this quiet, sleepy neighborhood – I don’t know. 
I talked him through his route. 
I explained that it was simple enough but would take him awhile, and dusk was quickly escaping into dark.  
His disposition was confident and kind with a soft-spoken voice.
The type of temperament that someone who relies on the guidance and help from strangers would have.  
When I told him it might take a bit of time to make his way downtown for the next leg of his journey, 
he responded that he had to walk, and that he didn't mind the dark or the cool air – his only degree of accountability was that he had to be at the next spot at six am.
And I loved him for that response.
And I envied him for his freedom to roam the open road.
Nothing to do but walk and watch and explore – 
all through the night with the simple task of getting to the next destination.
And then doing it all over again.
Happy trails to you, stranger.