Thursday, November 21, 2013

Snooty Tuesday, on Wednesday.

Yesterday I was in a mood. And let me tell you - not even an adorable puppy could drag me out of it. 
I wanted to punch and fling things. 
A friend and I call this the 'Snooty Tuesdays,' 
regardless of the day of the week.
And then, when someone told me I made their heart smile, 
I just felt like an asshole.
So it was by the grace of good friends, the grinning heart comment and a very thin veil of pragmatism, 
that I resisted the urge to do the following:
  • Dramatically swipe all of the contents on my desk from its’ surface, sending a flurry of office supplies and energy bars into the air to the shock and bewilderment of coworkers.
  • Buy a gigantic, extra-thick strawberry milkshake, remove the cover and splash it directly into a very specific person’s face.  (Basically, reenacting the scene from Grease except that this action would be premeditated on my part, not an impulsive reaction by Rizzo.)
  • Smash my cell phone with a hammer with one swift blow.
(72 min. creation, by me)

I didn't do any of those things…so that’s good. 
Things I did instead:
  • Re-watched a bunch of David Blaine YouTube videos from his celebrity TV special and settled on the conclusion that yes, Woody Allen probably does make his own malteds – which is adorable – and second,  that I need some DB ‘merch’ for Christmas. I proclaimed this need to the entire office. It was received with uncomfortable laughter and shifty eyes.
  • Spent 72 minutes trying to figure out/remember how to insert text on top of a photo in power point. I do not know how to bill this hour and 12 minutes. It should be noted that the determination to succeed here was driven by self-serving reasons, as the project was personal and not client related.
  • Invented a brand spanking new rendition of my popular workout series, “living room interval training,” where I do a bunch of weird, made-up exercises inspired by stuff I vaguely remember from my high school gym class elective: weight room. So, basically I gossiped to myself as I did calf raises and leg lifts. 
Today's better. Tomorrow's Friday.
I head home for Thanksgiving early next week. 
Things are looking up! 
Here's to smiling hearts and a weekend full of gratitude. 

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