Word Drops

Last night we watched the sweetest short film.

It was centered around the theme of people 

entering and exiting our lives,

and how the abrupt shifts in those relationships

ultimately can become a catalyst for a bigger change.

It showcased the difficulty associated 

with someone you love leaving you;

be it platonic love, parental love, romantic love.

And it made me think.

And it made me feel.

And it made me cry.

Dean asked if it was a sad cry or a happy one, and I couldn't really tell.

I think it was a mixture of both.

I had been wanting to share an update on the blog for a while now –

but  each time I sat down to write

the words tasted stale and tinny in my mouth, 

like chewing on aluminum.

I'm not sure why.

And then last night we watched this little movie

and it made all the words floating around in my head

drip out of me in the form of salty tears.

It felt pretty good – to release those tears,

 the happy and the sad mixing together.

It was like I could see the words that were stuck in my head,

roll down my cheeks in liquid word drops: 

‘disappointed.’ ‘nostalgic.’ ‘comforted.’ ‘unsure.’ ‘loved.’

Sometimes you just need a little cry I guess.

Followed by a kiss on the forehead and the switch of a lamp.

Here’s to a gentle and happy Tuesday, friends.

xo

For Simple Things...

My eyes are clear. My heart is full.

I have sunshine on my shoulders,

and a hand that holds mine.

For these simple things, I am grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving friends.

 

“For each new morning with its light, for rest and shelter of the night, for health and food, for love and friends, for everything thy goodness sends. I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and new.” 

–      Ralph Waldo Emerson

Autumn's Pause

I've wanted to share an update for a long time now.

But see,  there were dance floors to shimmy on, 

and giant sequoias to gape at.

There were trails on which to get my shoes dusty

 And too many big moon nights, requiring the attention of my eyes.

There were hawks – darting in and out of the shadows of the trees that begged me to spot them.

There were meals to share, introductions to be made; glasses to clink.

There were old friends, who had to meet new.

There was Manzanita-scented air, inhaled deeply into my lungs.

And shooting stars, tallied from the bottom of Yosemite valley, my parents by my side.

And sure, there were moments where there was nothing at all.

But that’s what I needed.

Just a quiet corner, and the pleasure of visiting with people that didn't require an explanation.

There were scenarios where words were fumbled, and hearts ached.

Where I felt anger rise from my feet and heat up my cheeks.

And then of course, there were instances of the purest joy,

with honey-coated whispered words, so sweet and true.

There were simple moments, really.

But they were mine.

Happy Autumn, until we speak again, friends. 

To August, With Love

I always write of August. 

Likely because it is my birthday month, 

it is August during which I am most nostalgic and reflective. 

I think of stretches of summer days
spent in Maine with my family, 

and long lazy weekends at the beach with girlfriends. 

I have great memories of swapping stories
and sipping beers with friends, 

late into the humidity of the night back east.

Of sun burnt skin, salt water kayaking and backyard lounging.

A friend recently told me, I often update Big Moon Sky in moments of worry, or apprehension.

And to some extent, this is true.

It is easier for me to process moments of worry through writing, 

and so the blog becomes an outlet for those instances.

But it's all shooting stars and sunshine in this post folks! 

image is my own

This summer has been a real slam dunk. 

A string of weekends up in Tahoe -
barbecuing at the base of the river, 

night skies so bright with stars,
 I have to pinch myself to believe its real. 

Dancing in Golden Gate Park with my little sister, 

with flowers in our hair.and smiles on our faces.

Days with my toes dangling from the edge of a boat, 

cheering on friends and clinking glasses towards the sun.

Sunday cocktails and home cooked meals, enjoyed in the backyard of friends.

Nights filled with music and spontaneity - a new feature in my world. 

And goats. So many goats. 

I am quite content these days. 

A steady sunbeam of happy. 

A constant stream of giggles.

And its the best. 

xo

With Arms Outstretched

Spriiiiiiiiing! 

The word itself sounds happy. And bouncy. And light.

Last night, I dreamt that piles of flowers

came pouring from the sky.

Big cheerful petals and blossoms. 

They fell gentle, on my chest. 

With arms outstretched, and up towards the sun:

This is how I welcome April.

(image is my own) 

Winter. 

You taught me lessons I never wanted to learn. 

Although, I am grateful that I did. 

You showed me the value of people. 

Who listened.

Without consequence or judgement. 

Without impatience or skepticism. 

They let words and worries tumble out of me, 

many of which had sour notes.

And they didn't rush to make things sweeter. 

Instead, they let me empty every last thought.

And slowly, 

this anchor I'd been dragging started to rust away. 

It makes me happy. And bouncy. And light. 

Happy Spring. 

xo

On Wishes

Next week, I turn another year older. 

Honestly, I blinked and a year went by.

Last year was the absolute tops - I really mean it. 

It was a sun chasing, rocky mounting climbing, perfect ten of a year. 

And so next week, with a whole new number attached to my name,

and a candle to wish upon, 

I wish for the same. 

To continue to feel too much and express too freely.

To take chances and to make choices that aren't fully thought through.

To keep my head high and my heart strong.

To speak openly, even if the truth can be a little scary.

image unknown

To work hard but play a little harder.

To pursue adventure and try new things.

To tell people when I miss them. 

To continue to hope and believe and subscribe to the notion 

that the whole wide world is on our side.

To remember that although there are times we might not get the answers we think we need,

the kind that leave us stumped and scratching our heads, 

there's a reason for that too. 

Things take time. 

Here's to another banner year, friends! 

Thank you, 

for making it so. 

xo

Easy Like Sunday Morning

It's a quintessential fall day in San Francisco.

We turned the calendar to November,

and just as quickly as she came, 

we waved goodbye to our Indian Summer.

There is a crisp chill in the air,

despite the unfiltered sunlight stretching down to earth.

It's they kind of Sunday morning you see in the movies.

Dads with their daughters out for bagels and bacon.

Empty nesters, pepper the sidewalk seating, newspaper and coffee in hand.

Owners with their dogs, letting the morning sun warm their faces,

despite their fleeces.

This Sunday, I rose with the sun.

After a cozy night home as rain pelted the sidewalk,

I felt well-rested and eager to great the day. 

And although the saying goes the way of another geographic location,

today, I left my heart in New York City.

(Image unknown)

It's Marathon Sunday.

It's a great day, in a great city

and some of the 'greats' of my life 

just so happen to be running through the boroughs of the Big Apple.

Did you know that the Verrazano Bridge is the longest suspension bridge in the US?

(The Golden Gate bridge is the second longest.)

Oh, the energy in New York this Sunday is pulsing through the pavement! 

I wish I could be there to witness it all.

But here I am, for a second year, 

cheering on the other side.

Be fleet of feet, dear friends! 

xo